I could not forget this bad experience that makes me learn to always be positive thinking. Five years ago, when I was in senior high school, I joined the speech competition in IPB (Institut Pertanian Bogor). I was one of the students who represented my senior high school. It was my biggest competition. I have never joined the competition as big as that competition. So, I prepared a lot and remembered my speech tremendously. That was my fault. How many times should I tell myself to not remember the word? But I did again. I should not remember word by word, because it will be the problem.
I practiced hard with my teacher for a month. I improved everything that I felt must be improved; pronunciation, vocabulary, intonation, and gesture. I also prepared the best costume I had. “I must become a winner!” I said ambitious at that time.
We left at 07:00 a.m. from the school and we took public transportation to take us to the place that the competition was held. It took about thirty minutes to get there. There were already some participants when we arrived. The competition would start in an hour.
First, we went to the registration table. Then, my teacher helped us to found the desk for sitting. We spent almost fifteen minutes for preparation. I told my teacher that I was very nervous. I was not ready for this. I could not be confident because I was afraid I would make many mistakes even forget all the speech that I would say. Too many thought spun around in my mind.
As the time flies, the fine came for me to perform on stage. There were judges and about two hundred people watching me. I felt really nervous, but I tried to spoke up fluently. Start from the opening and introducing myself. After that, I began to tell the topic that I will explain “The Destruction of Coral Reef in Indonesia”.
In the beginning, I spoke very fluently. My speech was wonderful because I was very attractive with my gesture. But in the middle of my speech, suddenly I was not confident. I could not control my feeling because too many thought spun around in my mind; I shed, I nervous, I felt other participants are better than me, I felt very bad. The effect of those thought; I forgot all the things that I had to say. I could not say anything. I was speechless and it was very silent. No one wants to spoke anything. All the participants, supporters, and judges just stared at me. But I just watched the sky above. I could feel that my face turned red at that time. I was very ashamed. I hated myself so much, maybe much more than every one in this world. But I could not stand longer on stage. I had to finish my speech even though I have not finished all. One of the judges just smiled at me. Maybe it was a sign that I had to turn down from the stage.
Finally, I closed my speech bravely without hopefully anything. It was the end of my performance. Maybe all people on that room laughed me. This could be the worst thing I have ever done, but it does not mean that I am the most stupid girl in the world. I always take all the good things from every experience and only focus on all the good things. I learn; what you think is who you are.